Let’s say your Preteen is listening to explicit music. You would say “Sean, please don’t listen to explicit music. If you continue to do so, you will have your Phone taken away from you. “. This potential punishment is linked to the Violation Another Example is your Teen keeps leaving their bike outside. You would be right to say “Timmy, please stop leaving your bike outside. If I find it outside again, I will put it away and you will not be able to ride it for 2 days. “. The threat of not being able to ride the bike will work more effectively than,for example, grounding, as it is linked to the crime A 3rd example is that your teen is watching potentially inappropriate films without Permission. You would say “Richard, please don’t watch R rated films without adult supervision. If you continue to do so, your TV privileges will be taken away. " Let’s say your teen is refusing to study. You could say “Courtney, please go and study. If you fail tomorrows test, you will miss next weeks party so you can study. “. Having to miss the party next week for studying will make it so the teen will study to pass the test so they can go to the party If it is not possible to link the Punishment Directly to the crime, such as in the case of Violence, the best course of action would be to remove Privileges and/or grounding
As an example, if you ban your Teen from seeing friends for a week, don’t them talk to said friends on the phone for a week Some Teens will pretend like they couldn’t care less about losing their phone. Don’t fall for this. It is a trap to get you to end the punishment early
If possible, try not to tell your teen this is why they did not lose X privilege. Otherwise, teens may tactically sneak out or do something else illicit if they know they won’t be banned from TV or seeing friends due to being at Grandma’s house. This way, you could use this in the future and your Teen won’t tactically break the rules at a certain time.
Dale, since you made it into Secondary School, I will buy you an iPad, but I will set a few restrictions before you can use it. Max, because you got an A on your Math Test, I will get you a new phone with an Upgraded Plan. Josh because you passed your Spelling test, I will buy you a laptop Any restrictions that you set before they can use the reward can be that they have to follow all the rules for a week, that they have to complete their chores, or that they have to keep their room clean. Using this method can be a good way to encourage your child to do well in school and is also a good way to give your child something they asked you for.
